A hat for Lucas
by Noodlenugget
Summary: Realising that nearly everyone else in the Smash mansion has a hat, Lucas decides to buy one of his own. Unfortunately, when you're a smasher, that's easier said than done!


The Smash Mansion's orange juice wasn't half as good as the one back in Tazmily village. The one back home was made with oranges from the local orchards, slid down the throat smoother than butter and each drop had a supernova of flavour. This one was slightly bitter and sometimes still had pips floating around inside. Regardless, Lucas poured himself a glass, out of routine more than anything else. Sitting down at the table with a bowl of cereal, he couldn't help but notice how quiet the massive dining room was this morning. Most days, the place was alive with the shouts of arguments and gossip. This morning, there weren't many other people here. The main reason could be that it was early on a Sunday morning, the day when most people had the right, no, the responsibility to sleep in. Matches were few and far between on Sundays, both to give both Master and Crazy hand a break from managing the whole tournament and for any mandatory tweaks to be made to the items or stages.

"What do you think they do all day?" Ness muttered, chewing on an apple next to him. "Y'know, when they have time off?"

"The hands?" Lucas asked. "Um…I don't really know. Watch TV, maybe?"

"I think they're secretly plotting to take over the world!"

"Wh…What?!"

Ness just laughed.

"Relax, relax. I'm joking."

Lucas breathed a sigh of relief. The blonde had expected his friend was joking from the beginning but as living in the same house as a walking, talking hedgehog and a 2-foot tall spaceman had taught him, anything could happen. They were quiet for a little while before Lucas decided to restart the conversation.

"How come you're always wearing that hat?" He asked.

The question had been in his mind for quite some time. No matter how Ness was attired, the hat remained permanently stuck on his head, as if it'd been stuck on with superglue.

"My dad bought it for me," Ness sighed. "I haven't seen him in years, he and my mum split up when I was a kid."

"Oh…I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's not your fault," Ness smiled. "I'm kinda used to it anyways."

The hat was plucked from its resting spot by the owner himself, who placed it onto a brand-new campground: Lucas' head. Sticking his tongue out and leaning his head to the side, the older boy tilted it to the side then swivelled it so the cap was on backwards.

"Looks good on you."

Lucas looked at his reflection on the all-too-shiny table. The hat wasn't his style but somehow, he felt stronger when he wore it. It might have had something do with the fact that it was his best friend's hat.

Although come to think of, nearly everyone in the house had some form of headgear.

Some wore crowns, others wore hats, Fox and Falco wore some sort of eye-computer thing (Ness said they looked like something from a TV show he liked). All this time, he'd been showing off his blonde hair in plain sight, not bothering to cover it up at all. Now that he thought about it, it was much easier to count the people in the house who DID wear a hat compared to those who didn't.

"I like it," Lucas smiled, turning his head from side to side.

"Really? I didn't think you liked hats." Ness replied, taking his trademark cap and placing it back where it belonged.

"Red wore a hat, you wear a hat…" Lucas said. "I'd like to wear one too."

Red. That was a friend Lucas hadn't seen in a while. He still sent letters from to time, documenting his training. Last he'd heard, Red had beaten his rival at the Pokémon league and became the new champion. That had been some time ago. Not even Charizard, who was the young man's own Pokémon, knew what he was up to nowadays.

The two people closest to him (Outside his own family, of course) both wore hats. Not wearing one made him feel left out, for lack of a better term. He'd have to go into town today and buy one. Peach had mentioned something about a hat shop one time…

"Lucas?"

Oh yes, his father also wore one. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"Lucas!"

The blonde boy snapped back to reality, only to find his elbow stuck in a puddle of peanut butter. He pulled his elbow out of Ness's toast and wiped it clean with a napkin.

"Sorry about that."

"No problem," Ness smiled, sticking the bread into his mouth and chewing vigorously.

"You know what?" Lucas muttered. "I think I'm going to go out and get a hat today. You wanna come?"

Ness nodded and with a muffled 'Mm-hmm!", swallowed his mouthful before greedily tearing off another.

* * *

Unfortunately, getting out of the smash mansion was easier said than done. Their fights being broadcast across Wuhu island had thrust newfound fame onto the fighters; there probably wasn't a single mii on the island who didn't know their names. While this fed the ever-hungry egos of some the more pompous residents, it was more often than not a pain for everyone else.

Neither boy wanted to deal with the paparazzi today: they were only going out to buy a hat after all. If they leant on the large black gate that was the only way in and out of the grounds, they could already hear their fans breathing as they waited outside the giant gates, wishing for nothing more than a picture of their favourite fighter. Well, if either Ness or Lucas were their favourite fighter, they were out of luck.

In order to preserve balance amongst the fighters (Which was fancy talk for 'Stopping certain people from completely overpowering everyone else'), Master hand had stripped some of the fighter's powers. Sadly, this included Ness's teleportation.

Thankfully, he had a plan B.

"This is for you, boy…" Ness smiled, waving the bone back and forth. "If you do us a favour."

The Duck Hunt dog (No one could really decide on a name for him) followed the pendulum-like motions, his eyes growing wide with hunger. A stream of drool drip-drip-dripped out his maw, the teenager pushing the bone up to his lips, only to yoink it away at the last second.

"ARF! ARF!" Replied the canine.

"What's he saying?"

It was times like this that Ness fully appreciated his friend's zoolinguism.

"He says he'll do it," Lucas confirmed.

"Great!"

"If!" The blonde boy continued. "If you play ball with him for two hours today."

"Fine."

That single syllable transformed Duck hunt dog from a lazy mutt into a living, breathing machine that put any shovel to shame, paws tearing through the earth like it was made of soggy tissue paper. A shower of soil was flung into a messy pile, a giant hole appearing in the otherwise picture-perfect lawn. It was like something out a prison escape movie.

"What are we gonna do about the hole?" Lucas asked.

At this point, the hole looked less like something a living thing could manage and more like a meteorite had buried itself in the garden. It was almost as round as Bowser's stomach; there was no way no one wouldn't notice it.

"Don't worry about it!" Ness grinned, taking a roll of paper out of his rucksack.

Unrolling it, Lucas saw what it was: a perfect imitation of the ground's lawn. The shade of green was spot-on and the space between the false blades of grass looked convincing enough. No one would know they'd gone until they came back and filled the hole in again.

Giving the dog a few seconds worth of a head-start, Lucas jumped into the hole. Ness followed almost immediately, stopping only to put his decoy lawn-mat down. Once they got underground, the tunnel started to shrink, the boys having to lie on their stomachs to crawl through. Without any light, the best they could do was follow the tunnel and hope for the best.

"Ness?" Lucas mumbled. "What if this doesn't work?"

"Don't worry! That's why we have the fail-safe!"

"We have a fail-safe?"

The older boy put a hand on his friend's shoulder and smiled.

"Yep. Now hurry up, will you?"

After a while, Lucas could make out the Duck Hunt dog digging upwards at an angle, creating a gentle ramp back to the surface. Beams of sunlight shone through the cracks in the soil as they clambered up to the surface world.

As Duck hunt dog jumped out of the hole, the humans had a quick look around before leaving. They hadn't travelled very far: They had popped up in a patch of grass next to the fountain just outside the mansion.

"Well, that went well," Ness sighed, taking one last peek around to see what the paparazzi were up to.

Thankfully, they were all too busy staring at the gate or fixing their cameras to notice the trio. Putting a finger to his lips, Ness guided his friends down the street, walking slowly as not to make any noise. Quietly, they tip-toed away from the hole, giggling amongst themselves.

And everything was going quite well until the dog saw a squirrel.

The squirrel stared at the hound. The hound stared at the squirrel. Then, as the small mammal scampered up the tree, the dog let out a deafening bark.

"ARF! ARF! ARF!" He cried, almost as loud as a car alarm.

The boys froze in horror. The paparazzi turned around. The squirrel scampered up to the safety of a tree branch. Then, a tsunami of camera flashes and screaming fans torpedoed towards them.

"Hey, it's them! It's them!"

"Ness! This way, please!"

"Lucas! Can I get an interview?"

"OMG, that dog is adorable!"

Lucas hid behind his friend; not that it did much good. Seeing as they were surrounded on all corners, the boy could still feel the heavy gaze of the media crushing his very spirit. In complete contrast, the Duck Hunt dog didn't seem to mind the attention in the slightest, rolling onto his back in preparation for the inevitable belly rubs the fanbase would provide.

"N-Ness? The failsafe?"

"Right. Leave it to me," Ness smiled.

Ness took a deep breath, cleared his mind and focused his power. If this was going to work, he needed complete control. This technique had been used since the dawn of time: a power that many had attempted but few had mastered. Stretching out his arm, he pointed towards the mansion.

"IS THAT SUPER MARIO OVER THERE?!" He bellowed, a false look of shock covering his face.

"Mario?! Where!?" Squealed the ever-hungry paparazzi.

In the few seconds that followed, Ness and Lucas ran like hell into a nearby alley before the reporters could notice their disappearance.

"That…That was your fail-safe?!" Lucas gasped.

"Yeah, kinda." Ness chuckled. At least it worked, right?

The younger boy opened his mouth to protest but then remembered a more pressing matter.

"Where's the dog?"

Peering around the corner, the duo noticed that he was enjoying a belly scratch from the sea of reporters, several of which were offering him doggie biscuits and chew toys.

"I think he'll be fine," Ness smiled. "C'mon, let's get going."

* * *

After sneaking around the alleyways for a little while, the two of them left the shadows when they reached a mostly-empty stretch of street. Some people stared, others ask for autographs. Sometimes they boys complied, other times, they didn't. Now they could move around freely (For the most part), there was just one problem.

"Lucas, where's this hat shop?"

The blonde boy paused. Now it was his turn to look embarrassed. Ness facepalmed, his hand hitting his nose with a quiet yet noticeable thud.

"You don't know, do you?"

"Erm, No..." He whispered.

"Do you even know the name?"

Lucas' brain went into over-drive, digging through his memories as fast as it could. What was it? 'Hats R' us?' No, that just sounded silly. It was on the tip of his tongue, he just knew it!

"Was it 'Hat-trick'?"

"How did you- "

Ness coughed and gestured towards the small shop behind them. The name of the store was plastered above the store in fake gold. Lucas felt his face heat up from embarrassment, the blush only increasing as he saw his face in the shiny windows.

As they stepped inside, they found an army of hats surrounding them on all corners. Sombreros, bowler hats and baseball caps were all present. Heck, the shop even had the strange green fishing hats with hooks on the end. There didn't seem to be a method to the placement: different kinds were grouped together regardless of their origin or style.

Lucas wandered over to the baseball caps, found a bright red one and put it on. A mirror handily available beside him, he stared at the glass-bound doppelganger. The hat went with his blonde hair rather well and it was nice and snug on the head. The only problem was…

"Urgh! I…I can't get it off!"

No matter how hard he yoinked on the headgear, it seemed set on not leaving his head. Things weren't helped by the sound of Ness giggling.

"It's not funny…"

"Yeah, it is. Hold still."

Gripping the sides, Ness dug his fingers into the material and pulled back. Lucas moved his head downwards. Eventually, the hat reluctantly moved an inch. Then another. Then, as if to play a cruel trick on the pair, it came off in one swift movement. Unprepared for the sudden shift, Ness stumbled backwards and fell into a basket full of beanies.

Now, it was Lucas' turn to laugh.

"It's not funny," Ness pouted, shoving a cyan beanie off his head and replacing it with his trademark cap. "Anyways, I'm already wearing a baseball cap, you can't wear one."

"Why not?"

"Originality. This is kinda… My thing."

"Oh," Lucas nodded, even though he didn't fully understand.

 _Doesn't Diddy also wear one?_ He thought to himself.

* * *

"No! No! Maybe! No! Heck, no!"

Ness gave a thumbs down to virtually every hat Lucas put on. As much it pained him to say it, none of the hats seemed to suit Lucas's style. Heck, until today, Ness couldn't have imagined him wearing one at all.

"But I really like this one..." Lucas whined, adjusting the top hat.

It was white with a black band around the middle, like something a pop star would wear. To prove his point, he struck a few poses, tilting it this way and that to convince Ness it was worth buying.

Ness shook his head.

"Sorry, I'm not seeing it." He sighed. "Although…"

Before his friend could say another word, Ness was already up from his seat. He dashed over to a basket full of Knit hats and grabbed a bright Yellow one.

"Try this one on for size!" He laughed.

Knocking aside the hat currently perched on his skull, the older boy planted the Knit hat firmly on top of his friend's golden locks.

"Perfect."

Lucas on the other hand, wasn't too sure. He stared back at his reflection, turning his head side to side. The hat matched his hair colour perfectly, a little too much so for his own liking. The boy plucked a black copy of his hat from the basket and plopped it onto Ness's head, right on top of his cap.

"How's that?" He giggled, a spark of rebellion alighting within him. Ness had been planting enough headgear on him to cover a nation's worth of bald spots. It was time he had some fun of his own.

Ness caught onto the game rather quickly and slammed a cowboy hat onto Lucas' beanie.

"That's better," He giggled.

To his surprise, Lucas did not retaliate. Instead, he looked at himself in the mirror, making little noises of confirmation.

"Lucas?"

"I like it. It's like what my dad wears."

Ness was going to mention that he looked like something a cowboy would wear until he remembered who Lucas' dad was. From what he had heard, Lucas's family had a small ranch. Personally, he wasn't a fan but if that was that Lucas really wanted…

"I'll take it."

 _Sometimes,_ Ness thought to himself. _It's best to say nothing._

They took the hat up to a bored (and probably underpaid) clerk, who scanned it without so much a word. When prompted to pay, Lucas reached into his pocket. Then he reached into his other pocket. On both occasions, his hand met with empty air.

"Lucas?"

"Yes?"

"You _did_ remember your money, right?"

"… No. Did you?"

"No."

"Oh."

The cashier frowned at them, then pointed towards the door with a face that just screamed 'Stop wasting my time'. The boys didn't need to be asked twice.

* * *

The air of Wuhu island was heavy with the foul stench of failure. The boys spoke very little to one another, walking in silence to their make-shift tunnel. The paparazzi weren't there; They were down the street, busy pestering the REAL Super Mario. It wasn't until they were back in the sanctuary of the mansion grounds that Ness decided to speak.

"You OK?"

"Yeah."

Neither one of them felt like going back into town for a second try so they both decided to call it a day. Once they got inside, Ness went into the kitchen while Lucas went into the living room and collapsed on the couch. The springs creaked under his weight as he lay down, a symbol of its old age.

It was a silly thing to get so upset over and yet, he couldn't help but feel down. Something about him had changed once he'd put that hat on. He felt… Powerful. Stronger, even.

"A sad face in my house? I don't like the look of that at all."

For the third time that day, his thoughts were interrupted. This time, due to Palutena walking into the room. Lucas looked up to see an all-too-familiar goddess, who flashed her signature smile.

"Tell me, Lucas. What's on your mind?" She cooed.

"It's nothing, really."

Of course, Palutena was not going to take that for an answer. Sitting down next to the child, she clicked her fingers, a chocolate bar materializing out of thin air. Muttering a 'Thank you', Lucas took the treat, nibbling on it like it was to last him the next hour.

"You're gonna think it's silly, but…"

"Silly child, I've been alive for millennia. There's nothing that can surprise me anymore."

"Well… It's just that… I kinda want a hat."

The green-haired beauty was silent for a moment. Then she raised her hand to her lips as she giggled like a child.

"Aw, that's adorable," She cooed. "May I ask why you want one so badly?"

"Everyone else has one."

Palutena put a finger to her cheek. True, a lot of the house's occupants had some form of headgear on their person. Still, maybe there was more to this than met the eye. No matter the reason, she was going to get to the bottom of it.

"Do you really want a hat? Or do you just want to be like everyone else?"

Lucas opened his mouth to speak, only to close it again. He'd never really considered why he'd wanted one. True, he always did feel a little different compared to everyone else; having powers you didn't fully understand would do that to you. For once, he wanted to fit in with a group, even if it was something as miscellaneous as owning some kind of headgear.

"I…I don't know."

"If you want a hat that badly, I'm not going to stop you. But you have to want it, too." Palutena said.

Lucas just nodded.

"Although, if you want a change in style, I have a much better idea. ~"

An evil grin sprouted on the woman's face as she summoned her staff. Aiming the large sphere at Lucas, she whispered a spell she hadn't used in some time.

"Power of colour."

* * *

Ness didn't see Lucas again until dinner that night. Having spent two hours playing with the duck hunt dog as promised, kicking Pit's butt in Mario Kart and of course, daily baseball practice, he was absolutely shattered. Given his friend's absence, he had spent the meal talking with Toon Link, another of the younger fighters. Right now, Ness was discussing an old movie he'd seen the previous week, the young hero nodding along to his words.

"So then, the girl crawls out of the TV and kills the guy, just like the guy on the phone said," Ness muttered, mouth full of meatloaf.

Looking over at his friend, he noticed that his large, cat-like eyes were wide open in horror, sweat racing down his face.

"Oh, come on. It's not that scary…" He muttered, rolling his own eyes.

The hero of winds shook his head and pointed behind Ness. The other boy turned around and let out a cry of horror. There, right in front of him, was Lucas. But something about the boy was off, something wasn't quite right…

"Lucas! Y…Your hair!"

"D…Do you like it? Palutena changed it for me," He muttered, running his fingers through his now emerald green hair.

"Why?"

"Well, she said that if I wanted to look cool, this was the way to go…"

The black-haired youth stared at Lucas, not sure what to say. A stutter escaped his mouth, eyes darting this way and that.

"Well, it's…"

What word could he use? Different? Strange? Unique? No, none of those felt quite right. Nothing in his mind's dictionary fit the situation at hand. He just couldn't think of the right thing to say.

"I take it you don't want a hat now?" He muttered, trying to change the subject.

"No, I don't think I need one. Seriously though, this doesn't look bad, right?" Lucas asked, a little more desperate this time.

Silently, Toon Link grinned and gave Lucas a thumbs-up. With no other option, Ness did the same. Neither boy would say that his new colour was bad but they both silently agreed that it clashed with the bright pink blush on his face.

* * *

After dinner, the three boys lazed in front of the TV in Ness' room, watching a cartoon about money people who could fly and shoot energy blasts out of their hands.

"See? That thing that bald one's wearing; it really looks like Fox and Falco's eye thing, huh?" Ness pointed out.

Lucas and Toon Link both nodded, still staring the idiot box. They remained that way for quite some time until a deep, loud cry blasted through the air. It didn't sound like a cry of pain. Rather, it sounded more like someone who was on the very verge of losing their temper.

"Who dug this stupid hole?!" Yelled a familiar, frightening Koopa king. Even from halfway down the garden, his words were as clear as day.

"Ness?"

"Yes, Lucas?"

"You DID fill in that hole, didn't you?"

"...No."

"Wh...What do we do?"

As always, it was up to Ness to think of a plan. And this time, he had a great one.

"Hide!"


End file.
